The end of an era

So this blog is closing. So much for last post plans; the week has been too chaotic to write anything.

If anyone wants the link to my new blog, which will open soon, please e-mail me at welcometotheconfessional at yahoo dot com. I'd link here, only I've been pretty lax with who I've given access to this blog, and I don't want to repeat the mistake with the next one. The new blog will not be connected to this blogger account or to HdtS and it won't come up if you Google my name.

Thanks to everyone who has been part of the blogging journey with me thus far.

The Minions' Movie Club: Summer 2009

This will be the last meeting of the minion movie club on this blog. All future meetings will be held on the minions’ new blog.

To be honest, none of us can remember everything we’ve seen since April, so we may leave things out. (Though this probably is everything. The minions and I have been watching a lot of True Blood and very few movies.)

Adventureland

Summary: Bored (and frequently drunk and high) amusement park employees simply cannot decide who they wish to sleep with.

Ivan: I told you anything with Kristin Stewart would be bad. 1/5
Boris: Vasily is not allowed to pick the movies anymore. 1/5
Vasily: I admit it. Movie stink. Stop throwing things at me. 1/5
Mikhail: But it’s fun. Unlike the movie. 1/5
Stacy: I agree with everything that has been said here. 1/5

Miss Pettigrew Lives for the Day

Summary: Recently unemployed nanny, Miss Pettigrew, resorts to deception in order to gain a new job. Little does she know that her new job involves caring the for flighty but beautiful actress, Delysia Lafosse, rather than small children and helping Delysia sort through the many men in her life to decide on The One. Meanwhile, Miss Pettigrew gains a suitor of her own.

Ivan: Amusing, but a bit silly. 2/5
Boris: Delightful. It seems fluffy at first, but the menace of upcoming WWII is always in the background. 5/5
Vasily: Frances McDormand’s hair and makeup was terrible, but Amy Adams looked lovely. 3/5
Mikhail: I liked it, but we all know I’m a romantic. 4/5
Stacy: Very fun. Amy Adams and Ciaran Hinds were fabulous. 4/5

From Here to Eternity

Summary: Set on Pearl Harbor just before the bombing, an army base is run by a corrupt captain. Sergeant Warden (Burt Lancaster) is the only one to provide good leadership, but is forced to work within the confines of the captain’s whims. At the film’s opening, the captain’s wish is to have Robert E. Lee Prewitt, a new transfer, box for the regimental boxing club. Prewitt refuses to box because of injuries he had inflicted upon a fellow boxer in the past, and his best friend, Angelo Maggio is the only one to support him in this decision. When Warden falls for the captain’s wife, Prewitt is harassed for his decision, and Maggio’s temper lands him in trouble, all hell breaks loose.

Ivan: Wow, this makes working for Stacy seem simple in comparison. 5/5
Boris: Great characters, great acting. 5/5
Vasily: A bit boring, but Deborah Kerr was lovely. 3/5
Mikhail: One of the better movies we’ve watched this summer. 5/5
Stacy: I was expecting this to be just another war movie, but the characters were incredibly complex. 5/5

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Summary: Boy wizard confronts evil, Dumbledore mentors, Ron Weasley loses more of his scarce brain cells, teenagers snog, Hagrid is still hairy and dumb, Draco Malfoy upgrades his wardrobe and broods a lot, Hermione’s mood is slightly cheerier than Draco’s, Alan Rickman is awesome, and Jim Broadbent steals the show. Do you really need a summary of a Harry Potter film?

Ivan: It wasn’t a complete trainwreck. 4/5
Boris: I was pleased. A definite improvement over OotP. Gotta love that Hermione! 5/5
Vasily: So fun! Where Draco got his suit? 5/5
Mikhail: Really good movie, but Bonnie and Dan were not convincing as a couple. 4/5
Stacy: Michael Gambon was amazing, especially in the cave scene. Also loved Jim Broadbent. He made the silly Horace Slughorn so wonderfully human. 4/5

(500) Days of Summer

Summary: Tom, an aspiring architect turned greeting card writer, is in love with being in love. Summer doesn’t believe in love and just wants to have fun. Their relationship would be perfect if only she could love him.

Ivan: The best part was the ending. By that, I mean I was glad it ended. 1/5
Boris: A fun and quirky love story. I’d see it again. 5/5
Vasily: I want to go to Ikea and play house! 5/5
Mikhail: I love how they told this story, moving back and forth in time. 4/5
Stacy: Very smart and funny. I was very pleasantly surprised. 5/5

Withnail and I

Summary: Two starving actors in London in the late sixties are tired of their lack of job prospects and disgusted with the apartment that they can’t be bothered to clean. They convince Withnail’s rich and eccentric uncle to allow them to use his country cottage for a change in pace. They are surprised to find Uncle Monty’s cottage is not quite as genteel as expected and that making dinner in the country means killing your own chicken. Then Uncle Monty shows up to pay them a visit.

Ivan: The script that homophobia wrote. 1/5
Boris: I thought that it was very funny! 5/5
Vasily: Skinny man walks around in tighty whiteys. I cannot watch. 0/5
Mikhail: Occasionally funny. Frequently repulsive. 3/5
Stacy: Uncle Vernon! I’m shocked to see you in this role! 2/5

Sunshine Cleaning

Summary: Rose (Amy Adams) was once head cheerleader and the most envied girl in high school. Years later, she’s a single mom, in love with a married man, wanting to do more with her life than work as a maid. Her sister, Norah (Emily Blunt), still lives their father and can’t hold a waitressing job for more than a few weeks at a time. Together, the sisters form a company called Sunshine Cleaning, ironically specializing in crime scene clean up. While the women grow used to cleaning gore, they find their lives to be more difficult to sort out.

Ivan: I was worried this might be sappy. It wasn’t. 3/5
Boris: I loved it. 5/5
Vasily: Pretty ladies! Gross job! 3/5
Mikhail: Great acting and a good ending. 4/5
Stacy: I wasn’t sure about this one at first, as it’s a bit slow in the beginning, but the characters really grew on me. 4/5

The Last Word

Summary: Evan writes suicide notes for a living, maintaining his own business called the Last Word. When he falls in love with Charlotte, the sister of one of his clients, he has to conceal the nature of his writing from her.

Ivan: Imagine dark humor without the humor. That’s what this movie is. 1/5
Boris: Okayish. 3/5
Vasily: Winona Ryder look very pretty. 4/5
Mikhail: Interesting premise. It could have and should have been better than this. 3/5
Stacy: Blah. The part about Evan’s relationship with Ray Romano’s character was interesting, but Wes Bentley and Winona Ryder do not make a convincing couple. 2/5

Guns, Baptists, and Oompa Loompas

One last meme on this blog. Stolen from Beck.

1. The phone rings. Who will it to be? My mom. I’m just popular like that.

2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart? Yes, but generally to the wrong store’s cart return. (Kidding.)

And yes, I do return them. My mother trained me well.

3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener? Listener. I’m extremely shy in group settings.

4. Do you take compliments well? I’ve been told that I don’t.

5. Do you play Sudoku? Never tried it.

6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive?

Who is planning to abandon me in the wilderness? How rude!

And no, probably not. Not unless I was adopted by a friendly family of bears.

7. Did you ever go to camp as a kid? I went to my church’s camp as a junior higher, but not as a little kid.

I also attended a Ukrainian Baptist Bible convention held in some middle of nowhere camp in Ontario every July from age 5 to 15. The only attendees under the age of 120 were my relatives. My sister and the Future Mayor remember this place and its three-hour chapel services with equal fondness, I’m sure.

8. What was your favorite game as a kid? Clue. Miss Scarlet was a dangerous, dangerous woman, and I rather admired her for it.

9. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he was married, would you? No, but my ego would appreciate the pursuit.

10. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you? Date? Yes. Marry? No.

11. Do you like to pursue or be pursued? Be pursued. In fact, I demand that sexy intelligent men start pursuing me RIGHT NOW!

12. Use three words to describe yourself? Creative, sensitive, awkward.

13. Do any songs make you cry? Yes. Can we leave it at that, or do I have to embarrass myself here?

14. Are you continuing your education? *hides “How to Become a Successful Goat Herder in 50 Day or Less” pamphlets* No, why do you ask?

15. Do you know how to shoot a gun? No. I’ve never touched a gun.

16. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth? Probably.

17. How often do you read books? I go through a book every couple of weeks on average. I finished Enchantress of Florence on Saturday and am just getting into Suite Francaise.

18. Do you think more about the past, present or future? The future, I suppose. I don’t dwell on the past much unless someone has done something to MAKE ME MAD, in which in case I will dwell in the past with a good deal of moody and resentful relish.

19. What is your favorite children’s book? Anne of Green Gables. Unless we’re talking picture books, in which case anything by Dr. Seuss wins.

20.What color are your eyes? Hazel. Mostly green with a bit of brown.

21. How tall are you? Oompa Loompa sized (5’1”)

Bad Apple

I just made a terrible baked apple, one of the worst in the history of baked apple disasters.

The history of baked apple fiascos, of course, is extensive as it dates back to the sisters of a convent just outside Bordeaux in 1576. The sisters, as everyone knows, had intended to bend the strict dietary rules normally upheld during Lent. They figured apples were a natural healthy food; surely God wouldn’t mind them adding some sugar and spice. Little did the nuns know that Mother Marguerite had added some salt to the kitchen’s sugar bins, in anticipation of sinning sisters.

The salty apples were the worst that any of the nuns had ever had. Sister Lisette’s reaction was the worst, as she became troubled with visions of deceptive pomegranates and mutinous bananas. The culinary calamity was not without its unexpected benefits however. In 1601, Southwest France suffered a series of vampire attacks, but the convent went undisturbed; the vamps, it seems, had heard about the apples.

Still, I wouldn’t declare a Patron Saint of Bad Apples quite yet. A bad baked apple is a terrible thing, as I learned this evening.

I was craving an apple dessert, so I figured a baked apple would be the easiest way to go, as one can make them in the microwave. It wasn’t until after I cored my apple that I realized that I had no sugar –white or brown- in my pantry. So I baked it anyway with cinnamon, raisins, and a bit of butter, figuring it might be sweet enough on its own. It wasn’t. And honey is not always a good substitute for sugar. Sister Lisette would have been horrified.

You might be asking how one can have no sugar in the pantry. I don’t know, actually. I had sugar at one point; I just don’t know what I did with it. Either I pitched it during a health kick, ridding my kitchen of anything refined, or else I tossed it when I moved, finding it clumpy and being unable to figure out how long it had been since I purchased it. Given that it’s me, either scenario is possible.

I don’t have flour in the house either. I told someone that a few months ago, and they thought it was some kind of kitchen blasphemy. To me, it makes sense. I don’t bake, and last spring, I tossed out a three-and-a-half year old unopened bag of flour. So why keep it in the house? If I do get the urge to bake, I do it when I visit my mother since it’s a given that she always has flour, baking powder, eggs, and almond extract in her house, and I generally have none of the above in my house.

So what is in my pantry? Coffee, tea (black, green, white, and herbal), cocoa (two kinds), three kinds of lentils (French, green, and red), cereal, raisins, goji berries, kasha, bulgar, quinoa, brown rice, spices, and canned soup. Yes, I know I’m weird, but if you ever need to borrow a cup of lentils, come to my house. Just don’t ask me for a cup of sugar.

Overheard

Today I heard a conversation between two little girls through my screen door. One little girl yelled, "Come here!" When her friend didn't cooperate, she added, "You're not my friend anymore because you aren't listening to me!"

Little girls. Why are they such natural tyrants?

And I still have a toad stuck in the window well. Note the singular. I think Trevor got out somehow. Right now, I'm feeding Jocelyn crickets from PetsMart (ew!) and pouring water in there so she doesn't get dehydrated, but I still gotta get her out before it gets cold.

Excuses to go Shopping

While summer is my favorite season, I have to say there’s lots that I love about autumn. Apple cider, changing leaves, my birthday, Halloween, caramel apples, etc. But one other nice perk is fall fashion. While it’s fun to pull out the wool sweaters and the tall boots, there’s also the fact that fall clothing is just more flattering than summer fashion. Not everyone looks good in tiny shorts and halter tops. In fact, I’m positive that I’ve never looked good in either.

Here are some things I’m loving for fall:

Animal Prints: This is an odd one, as I’ve always hated animal prints. Loathed even. Just thinking of a cheetah print has always made me envision a bleached blonde divorcee with a boob job, prowling for husband #3. So why I do keep getting drawn to animal prints in stores, and why did I buy a pair of these? Unless, I’m ignoring some warning signs, it’s not because curved fake nails are in my future. Perhaps it’s just the season of the animal print.

Brightly Colored Coats: More specifically, I’m loving this jacket which I bought recently.

Pencil Skirts: Not exactly a “trend,” but always the best type of skirt out there.

Cashmere Twinset: I want a twinset from J. Crew and I think I may be able to afford one some time around when hell freezes over.

Frye Boots: Another thing I’ll be able to purchase after the freezing over of hell. I want these.

Leather Jackets: The one I bought is actually fake but still fun.

Ballet Flats: Always a classy choice.

Henleys: A total basic, I know, but I love this one from the Gap, as it is pretty much the softest shirt imaginable.

Military Jackets: I really want one.

Then there are always the trends that desperately need to die. Like snakeskin leggings *gags*, anything neon (I’ve seen entirely too much hot pink lately), or pretty much any vest ever designed in fashion history.

What do you like to wear in the fall? What will you never ever put on your body?

The Amphibian Issue

So I was in the basement doing laundry the other night when I realized someone was watching me from the basement window well. Or something I should say. A toad, with one paw pressed against the glass, was watching me fold clothes with decided interest. While I found this quite cute (I do like amphibians quite a bit), I knew I'd have to get Jocelyn (yes, I named her) out of the window well eventually so she doesn't freeze or get dehydrated. I just thought I'd wait until it was daylight.

The day for the Jocelyn rescue seemed to be today. I learned I could lift the plastic of the window well cover enough to get my arm in, but Jocelyn wouldn't sit anywhere I could grab her. She preferred to look into my basement. I can't say I blame her as my basement is full of spiders and her window well decidedly isn't, but really Jocelyn, I can't rescue you if you don't cooperate with me!

Somewhere between Rescue Attempt 1 and Rescue Attempt 2, another toad ended up in the window well (probably because I had lifted the cover and had not put it back very well). I've seen this toad before, too. I realize that it sounds odd to say one recognizes a toad, but I totally did. Over the weekend, Strider and I were in the backyard when my cat scared the crap out of a giant toad. I cannot stress how big this toad is. I think he might have played Trevor in the first Harry Potter film.

So now I have a Jocelyn and a Trevor, and I don't know how long they can co-exist, given that Trevor is about three times the size of Jocelyn.

Any advice on getting toads out of window wells?

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I have a name for the new blog. Unfortunately, it's not one that was suggested to me. Which means I still have a necklace to give away. So first person to comment on this post gets a necklace. :)